Monergism

Coming back to Taiwan feels weird. This is supposed to be my home, but I feel like a foreigner. The thought of going back to Vancouver is tantamount to the thought of a homeward bound journey, but I know that when I go back to Vancouver, I'll still feel like a foreigner. I will spend most of my time on the East Coast in the next few years, and I'm sure that this complex will become even more perplexing. Yet, because I have an eternal home, it seems that every foreign land I go to becomes my home. "Homeless sometimes means home everywhere," as my friend Dr. Tsai said to me. Here's a beautiful quote from a 2nd-century Christian document:

 

“For the Christians are distinguished from other people neither by land, nor language, nor customs; for they do not inhabit cities of their own, nor use a particular language, nor lead a life that is unusual… But inhabiting Greek as well as barbarian cities, according to each person’s lot… they display to us their wonderful and admittedly paradoxical way of life. They inhabit their homelands, but as strangers… Every foreign land is their homeland, and every homeland is a foreign land.”

 

=)

      

 English Translation:

Lachrymose

Flipping through the old photo album,

With mutters of thanksgiving

To him in my heart who encourages me always.

On days of bright shining sun, as on days of pouring rain,

Though memories have become distant and discolored,

I still chase after your vestige—

Which, when awakened, leaves me lachrymose.

 

Praying upon the first rising star

Has become my habit;

In the skies that I behold at dusk, devotedly I seek your traces.

In times of tears and melancholy, as in times of cheers and happiness,

Your smile emerges in my heart always.

I believe you can see me from where you are,

And believe in the day of our reunion.

 

On days of bright shining sun, as on days of pouring rain;

The smile emerges in my heart ever so often,

Even when memories have become distant and discolored.

So lonely, pining for you,

The thought of you leaves me lachrymose, wanting to be with you;

Wanting to be with you, the thought of you leaves me lachrymose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"Time, like an ever rolling stream, bears all its sons away; they fly, forgotten, as a dream dies at the opening day... O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, be Thou our guard while troubles last, and our eternal home." --Isaac Watts

 

今天去晨跑時，由於昨晚吃了麻辣火鍋，一面跑，一面感覺要拉肚子，就夾著屁股走回家了。坐在馬桶上，突然有感而發：我們這世代，受了浪漫主義影響，簡直就是個在感情上隨地大小便的世代。以下是我在馬桶上悟出的一番哲理：

 

The right thing at the wrong time is still wrong. It's not dishonest to hide your feelings in the treasure box of your heart. Rather, this is an act of self-control, which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5). How shall I compare this? It's like having diarrhea. You're walking on the street and you feel like it's gonna burst out. Would you just take off your pants in the middle of the street and poo like a dog? No, you would wait until you find a washroom. That's right--by waiting for the right moment, you are practising self-control. Taking a poo on the street is not an act of honesty; it is an act of indulging instintual desires, which pertains not to human beings but to animals, hence C. S. Lewis' comment that such indulgence amounts to the "abolition of man." Falling in "love" and starting a relationship right away is exactly like taking a poo whenever and wherever you feel like it. Romanticism, romanticism! What poison that indoctrinated generation after generation to poo romantically without toilets! (On that note, would you ever fall in love with a person who poos and pees whenever and wherever he feels like it? Then why would you fall in love with a person who is not responsible and decent enough to hide his affections until the right time?) 喜歡一個人，如果時機還不成熟，就把這感情藏在心中吧！不要作個在感情上隨地大小便的人 =D

以前讀金庸，除了《笑傲江湖》及《天龍八部》外，都沒有什麼深刻的感想。《射鵰》三部曲中，除了《射鵰》外，總覺得《神雕》跟《倚天》都只是「看爽的」而已，沒有什麼深刻的內容。現在才知道，楊過對小龍女那種苦等十六年的刻骨銘心之愛、藉由「行俠仗義」來消磨時間 (金庸自己說楊過並非英雄，因為他「行俠仗義」並非出於郭靖那種悲天憫人的捨己精神，而是為了讓時間過得快些)、在南海岸邊癡癡望著大海、「黯然銷魂」及「行屍走肉」之苦，原來不是作者浪漫的幻想──原來世間真有這種事，而且還發生在至親之人身上。C. S. Lewis 經歷喪妻之痛，不也是這樣嗎？無語問上帝。

 

我可愛的表弟表妹，那麼純真無邪，尤其是彬彬，那麼善良、正直，為什麼會受那惡婦的欺騙，在單親家庭中，被灌輸那套扭曲的價值觀？無語問上帝。

 

肯亞發生這樣的政治悲劇，死那麼多人；巴基斯坦的民主岌岌可危；恐怖主義大行其道；台灣時不時就傳出全家燒炭自殺的慘劇。無語問上帝。

 

國內那位十九歲的傳道人，師出未捷身先死。無語問上帝。

 

教會亂七八糟，靈命一蹶不振，同工士氣低落；近三年的事奉中，可謂竭力嘶吼，卻不見改變，總是原地踏步。我在這裡作什麼？無語問上帝。

 

還有太多事情，無語問上帝。上帝竟如此不可理喻！不可理喻到連以利亞、約拿這些先知都不想理祂、跟祂吵架！

 

這恩典太奇妙了。愚笨、無能、健忘、善變的受造之人，居然被賜予這樣的權柄，來到智慧、全能、信實、永恆的上帝座前，對祂發脾氣，跟祂無理取鬧。祂是上帝耶！居然敢跟祂發脾氣！而祂居然還去俯就這些無理取鬧的僕人！能夠事奉祂，是人生最大的福份，就算現在無語問上帝。

Dear Lord, in my limited capacity, this much I know: You have heard and granted my prayer long before I was even born.

 

In my everyday up-and-downs, I look unto Your constancy, and gain the peace, knowing that I am in You, and in You is not a shadow of turning.

 

In my weariness and disabilities, I raise my eyes upon Your almighty powers, and find that blessed assurance, knowing that it was You, sovereign God of Israel, who led Your people to the other end of the River.

 

In the weakness of my faith, I thank You, knowing that You are faithful; Your Word stands forever.

 

In the bondage of my sins, I gaze upon Your holiness, and I rejoice, knowing that You will make me holy as You are holy.

 

I wait upon You, O Lord, to take me up into Your Eternity; to grant, by Your faithfulness, that for which I hope in faith; to redeem my body and make me holy like You; for I know that shall be the day on which I see the full glory of Your face.

 

I long to see You face to face, O Lord, for I know that shall be the day on which I finally am able to perfectly articulate my praiseful heart to You. Come, Lord Jesus! Let me sing my praises to Your face!

 

Amen

Once upon a time, in a friendly village, there was a happy little boy. Everywhere he went, he'd always carry a radiant smile on his face. He was blessed with a big, loving family, and everything that a boy could ever want.

 

In the neighbouring forest, there lived an evil witch who was angry about everything. One day, she passed by the village and saw the happy boy. The witch was so jealous of the boy's smile, that she cast a spell on the boy to take the smile off his face, and hid it in a secret place so that he wouldn't be able to find it.

 

A kind fairy saw what happened to the boy and thought to herself, "I've gotta help that poor little boy."

 

So at night, she came to the boy's house with her magic wand and said, "I can't break the witch's spell because it's too strong for me, and I don't know where she hid your smile. Nevertheless, I am determined to help you. This is how I will work my magic: I will give a girl the power to find your smile and put it back on your face. I cannot tell you who the girl is, however, or else the magic won't work. You'll have to find her yourself. Once you find the girl, she will give you back your smile, and then you'll become a prince and she a princess."

 

From that day on, the boy started praying for the girl who would make him smile again. "Dear God, whoever this girl is, please bless her, protect her, and keep her for me."

 

(to be continued)